Headache!

My second sem r goin to end SOON...
but seem like my super busy period juz started.. damm f**k la..
really headache! is real headache!
there r still assign n presentation hav to done by nex week...
stupid lecturer! aiks..got a jap drama la..20 mins !
so shit..i hate to act la..some more hav to speak japanese! *fainted*
coz my jap lecturer is vy ##@@&#% wan la..he will only giv high marks to those tat r gorgeous.. n he edi said..he don care how bad our results is..as long as if we done well in d drama, he will giv us A...baka! atama ga okashi!

besides, recently really vy headache finding a room to move out on nex sem..
stupid frens.. put me aeroplane! n a big wan!
really geram la!
i hate ppl lie to me..
n i hate their attitude..
nvr think for others..
only LOVE themselves...
although they r quite good..
but somehow really don like ppl tat always break their promised wif a s**k reason!
somemore wan to lie me...
#@$@$$#@$@%$^&^%*!!!!!!!
i really du lan..but i din scold them la
i understand everyone got their own reason..
but..if cant make it den say earlier la..
don wait until ppl wanna confirm edi only say : "I DON WAN EDI"
du lan la...
.......................................................................................................................................................
recently i wont always go bek kl edi coz my mom don let me go out wif my boy...
T_T
my heart so pain la when think of this...
really don noe how!
d only reason tat she don like i close wif him is he is LOW EDUCATED...
izit a point?
i mean...izit d certificate so so so so so so important?!
tell me..IZIT?!
mom said our LEVEL r not same... *Fainted*
seriously i don think those graduated from uni is good..
they using their dad's money for clubing, "invest" on gal...smoke...like to drinks... bla bla bla...
somemore they r flirty too..they juz got one more paper...d certificate!
yesterday i called my godmom n told her about this..
she console me..n i m glad tat she accepted him...
i love my mom, n i noe she is juz worry my future..
but i really hurt when she said those things...
he is not tat bad k..
at least he is hard working, noe how to save money for future, don smoke, don drinks, don gamble..n is a filial son! ai.. i really hope to get wishes from u n dad...

.......................


so glad tat i can write blog ya..coz recently cant on9..d line r sucks..
actually recently should be vy busy wif assign n should study edi..
but..i only plan it but din tk any action..hahaha!! juz...lazy..
so down la when i cant on9..nowadays..surfing edi bcm a must in my life.. hohoho!

last sat, i went clubing again..GLO..
erm..they said i drank a lot..
but i don think so..
coz i m not drunk yet..
hahaha! juz a bit blur...
not really fun coz TOOOO crowded la..
i really witness a lot of 'couple' flirt wif each other..
so sexy...
so flirty...
make me miz my boy so much.. hahaha!!!
but tat nite i m actually quite moody..
coz my boy's hp no battery..
he promised to use his fren's hp to giv me a call but he din do it..
during tat period..
my instinct told me tat he is doin smth bad..
my instinct lar..
juz don noe y i cant bliv guys 100%..
but then he claim tat i think too much!
hope so...
erm..after got d clubing experiences...
i would nvr let my boy go clubing.. unless he bring me.. haha!

Chill Out


Chill Out...is d 1st place tat i went clubbing...i juz bek...now is 3.55am...
not bad...is fun if u enjoy dancing..but i not really coz i don noe how to dance! hahaha!
but is quite fun oso...
can dance wif leng zai mer..
hehehe!
but i nvr tot of flirt wif them....i swear! (although 'he' really attract me..kekeke)
i asked 2 frens of mine went wif me...
n they hav to lied to their bf...
n i felt i m so hang fuk...
coz shing long let me go..
i can go to hav fun without guilty feeling n 100% enjoy myself but ofcoz nvr 4get u...
thanks dear...
now i can quite understand y u always choose to lie me..
mayb is my fault...
hehehe!
mizzzzzzz uuuu..........

Tired!


Recently i m very headache finding roommate...
wanna be crazy edi!
i need 7 or 8 ppl to move in a new condo near my uni..is nice n fully furnish..d price is valuable!
but now i only get 6...
all is my coursemate....
is really headache...
coz some of them is quite poor...
cant afford if only 6...
n of course me too...
n there is a lot of probs...
everyone got diff demand..
wishing tat i can solve for them..
fainted!
oh god....
pls let me find 1 or 2 more roommate n everything will b ok!
i m tired man...n i really like tat hse...is a nice place to study!
...................................................................................................................................................................
sheau huei r coming bek in april...
i m really happy...
recently she is finding some stuff tat can bring bek for her family n me..
thanks her...she edi get her family some clothes..
n v think tat is enuf but she wanna get more things for her bro, my boy..
but my boy don wan anything more..
but she wan..
n i m stuck in d middle...
keep on asking her to stop thinking to buy anything again but she never listen to me =.="
in d other hand,
my boy keep on ask me to tell her sis not to buy anymore...
n...i ll be crazy .. hahaha!
not only sheau huei,
their cousin bro from japan,
goin to canada,
n he oso ask my opinion coz he plan to buy a MP3 for shing long...
coz he wan sheau huei to bring bek to my boy...
n same thing happened...
my boy keep on asking me to tell his cousin bro : " No Need"
n his cousin bro keep on say : " wan la wan la..is cheap here...XXXX only cost XXX Us dollar...."
n i don noe how...
coz is not good when i say yes or no..
if i say yes or ok, they mightthink tat me or shing long is greedy.
if i say no, they might think tat i m not good for shing long, reject good things for him...
sometimes,
i m thinking...
y don't they juz call each other to ask?
n...
y don't they juz buy it?
don ask for my opinion...
since tat watever i said u still wan to buy....
coz i m juz his gf..not wife...
i cant decide for him...
n i don wan..
i scare later if i make any wrong decision...
they will blame me...
i m not blamming sheau huei la..
coz v r close...
i m blamming my boy,
coz i ask him to call her sis n tell her tat wat he wan n wat he don wan..
but he don wan to call...
everything juz ask me to pass message...
=,="

anyway, really hope can meet sheau huei soon...
glad tat she is bek...i don mind got souvenir or not...
save money is more important...
...................................................................................................................................................................
today,
i received ur call...
my heart is down...
i hate u..
really...
hate u for breaking ur promised...
hate u for fooling me again n again...
i m not ur toy or pet...
not goin to act as ur wish...
if edi decided not to contact anymore,
leave me far away!
i m not goin to stand there n let u hurt one more time!
y don't u juz forget about me?!
pls...
i m not expert in this game...
i quit!
forever...
so don ever come bek to me again!
coz i wan delete all d memories wif u from my mind..forever!
never restore!
i feel awful when i think about u!
don blamed me for scolding u...
u deserved it!

一早起来，
嘴唇裂得很厉害。。。
连笑也不能。。。
很难受。。。
慢慢地。。。
又出血。。。
想不吃药了。。。
但我要坚持。。。
不能就酱放弃。。。
此时此刻。。。
突然很明白弟弟的感受。。。
自小，
他就有皮肤病。。。
手脚都干燥不已。。。
也是流血。。。
真的感受到他的痛。。。
以后。。。
该疼他多一点。。。
不再妒忌妈妈疼他多点。。。
因为我相信妈妈对他。。。
是很内疚的。。。
但，
有时候，
他真的很令人讨厌。。。
哈哈哈!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
有位朋友失恋了。。。
和他聊了蛮久。。。
感情。。。
真的是一门很难理解的学问。。。
也没有一定的答案。。。
因为每个人的想法，性格都不一样。。。
每个人的爱情故事也不一样。。。
所以当你遇到感情问题时，
没有人能帮到你，
唯有自己去面对。。。
亲人朋友只能聆听你诉苦，
陪你度过伤心的日子，
讲解一些所谓的爱情道理。。。
好让你不胡思乱想。。。
最重要的，
还是靠自己能站回起来。。。
继续精采的生活。。。
jia you jia you!

. . . . . .


最近的天气真的非常热。。。
前几天，因为吃了八珍丸，
结果第二天早上一起床就流鼻血。。。
刚巧晚上妈妈打来问候我。。。
其实最近在吃着一些药，
所以她问我是否有效和有没有副作用。。。
其实还好啦。。。
只是嘴唇干裂咯。。。(现在开始干到出血了)
结果第二晚妈妈又打来。。
问我还有流鼻血吗。。。
哈哈。。。
说真的，
当时的心真的很温暖的。。。
能感受到妈妈的关心真好。。。
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
此刻，
已经在倒数着新年的最后一天了。。。
在此祝大家元宵节快乐!
我选择了在槟城过元宵而不是家人或男朋友。。。
在做这个决定前我可是非常挣扎的。。。
但实在是太多功课要赶。。。
没办法。。。
我的心多么想回去。。。
很想家。。。
也很想他。。。
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
今天去逛街。。。
打算买靴子。。。
想买很久的了。。。
但看了几间都还好。。。
其实有看中一双的。。。
但那老板娘的态度令我不想光顾她!
真想告诉她:" 今时今日的服务态度是不能的。。"
哈哈哈。。。
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
刚从功夫晚会回来。。。
有点闷。。。
但有些部分真的很精采!
尤其是白人打鼓和二十四节令。。。
真的很棒喔!

Back....


I M BACK...to USM...
back to a place tat i don like at all...
back to a life tat i not enjoy at all..
back to d life tat full of assignmentSSS n examSSS...
back to d life tat without driving but walking...
back to d life tat sleeping in d fears.. ( scare those lizard n cockroach)
back to d life tat hav to wash clothes myself everyday...
back to d life tat hav 2 meal per day but yet still become fatter n fatter...
back to d life tat always hav to eat malay food but not chinese food..
back to d life tat most of d time sit on a plastic chair n facing my compaq laptop...
back to d life tat outdated wif entertainment news, recent news, new movieS n songS...
back to d life tat always missing d past...
back to d life tat without him by my side...
back to d life tat without yam cha session....
back to d life tat without tv programmeSSS....(i miz astro!!!)
back to d life tat full of group discussion n annoying, complicated social life!

wanna say again...i MISS FORM 6 life!

Shin Nen Omedeto Gozaimasu!

Happy Chinese New Year to all of u ya..
tis year..not really enjoy at all..
i went my hometown at Raub n Muar..
Quite boring..
N i lost many $$$$!!! T_T
i think tis year din get so much ang pau as past..
coz all my frens now is diff places.. hard to gather all n go bai nian..
juz miss d past so muchi...
really..
everything is changing..
everyone is getting older n older..
n relationship between ppl r changing too..
some ll getting more closer n some r getting more stranger..
.............................................................................................................................................................
how bout my relationship wif him is tis new brand year?
wondering..
hahaha...
i din put any hope at all coz nowadays our relaitonship r juz getting more n more worse..
is it my fault? or his fault?
i think i hav to control my temper edi... >.<
...............................................................................................................................................................
hav to go bek to USM soon...
sigh...
kinda lazy ler...
sometimes really hate to study at so far..
really hope can stay at home..
after tis week..
is my super duper hyper busy period edi...
assignmentSSSS, presentation, exams............
(T_T wanna cry when think of tis...)

可怜的我。。。


实在非常不明白，
你们这些变态佬，
总是会看上我，
对着我做出那些恶心的动作!
我对着镜子看了又看，
照来照去也不明白，
我的样子怎可能会引起你们的兴趣啊?!
是我太小看自己了吗?
哈哈哈。。。
不!
一点也不觉得!
我真的很衰耶，
这已经是第四次了啊!
而且就算在多人的地方，
也是我中招!
真想大骂:"他妈妈的啊!"
每次遇到这种事时，
我都会害怕得立刻离开，
但事后都很后悔!
因为我很想对那些变态佬说，
:"那么小就不要拿出来啦!"
但，
我还是没那么大胆。。。
哎!
真的很恶心啊!
---------------------------------------------------------------
昨天，
有一只蟑螂在我房间。。。
本来我不想打死它，
给时间它走，
但到我要出门时它还在!
其实我蛮怕的，
但我还是费了很多力把它从墙上打下来，
它逃去我放报级和行李包的地方，
那时我很怕了，
因为很靠近我的床!
它又躲着!
我那时的心情真的很难形容。。。
我唯有一直守着那个地方，
因为我一定要打死它我才可以安心!
但我真的很怕!
我不敢近距离的翻开那些报纸!
我又一个人，
我打了电话给他，
但他却叫我不要理它，
放它走(因为他是不喜欢杀生的)，
还笑我胆小!
我真的很气!
当时的心情很糟!
我一直哭。。。
因为我感到很无助，
很孤单，
觉得当我需要帮助时没有人在身边，
寂寞孤单无助的感觉一直涌上心来，
眼泪一直掉，
当看到蟑螂露出来时，
一直拿着扫把往那个地方拍打，
整个人好像要疯掉似的。。。
我又不敢看它死了没。。。
自从以前打蟑螂打到出血后，
我就不是很敢打了。。。
那次，
我也因为觉得自己太残忍，
觉得它死得很可怜很恐怖而哭了，
最后还是妈妈去收拾尸体呢。。。
在没有办法之下，
我叫我朋友来帮我，
她很大胆，
一份一份的将报纸翻开，
最后将它打死后丢去垃圾桶。
松了一口气后就收拾心情和一班朋友出街。
到了晚上回到宿舍时，
竟然发现那只蟑螂死不去!
竟然还会动!
我连忙将那个垃圾袋丢去外面的大垃圾桶！
想不到它还蛮厉害装死的嘛。。。

My Wishes...




I wish all d people around me r happy n healthy always.. coz they happy.. i m happy too..
I wish OUR relationship will get wishes from my family...
I wish everything i do will be done smoothly...
I wish my xxxx xxxx xx xxxxxx.... (secret)
I wish i m healthy...


ThEsE r My WiShEs FoR yEaR 2007...

Boring... Lazy...


Long time din blog here edi... aiks.. my life is dull... lack of motivation.. although CNY is coming SOON... but really don hav d mood..

my math exam is over.. tis time really no eyes see.. is very glad edi if i din get ZERO.. hahaha!
japanese listening exam is coming soooooonn.... n yet..i still cant recognise all d jap words.. wondering how am i goin to answer leh.. some more is listening leh! >.<
every week..i hav to do eco summary... translate a english article to BM.. sucks.. although it sound very easy but i need to spend hours n hours on it.. d article is quite long..n d vocab r hard..not only wasting time on finding d meaning but oso hav to think how to translate it in BM.. realise tat my BM r sucks.. forget many words edi.. T_T... besides..wat is EKONOMI MALAYSIA? there r no teks book..all is juz issue economic MALAYSIA.. OMG! don noe how to sit for d exam... *die*

Recently..i very worry my exam, assign..but..i juz WORRY.. din take any action.. feel like wanna slap myself huh.. but..really don hav any motivation... i juz ..LAZY!
Everyday juz watching drama wif my laptop... n now, i finish all drama tat my fren have.. hahaha! so tis weekend i m goin to boring till *die*....
......................................................................................................................................................................

really miss my frens so much...hope all of my frens r full of hapiness...

如何是好


三年了。。。
给过多少次机会了。。。
原谅你多少次了。。。
为你流了多少的泪了。。。
心也被你割了无数次了。。。
这一切你能算得到吗?
-------------------------------------------------------------
为什么，
每次当我觉得最幸福快乐，
觉得我们很好时，
觉得我能够信任你时，
充满希望时，
你却都会令我伤心失望呢!
--------------------------------------------------------------
你的那句 :" 上天真的派你来收拾我。"
令我很刺耳，很讽刺。。。
我该高兴吗?
该高兴我能刺穿你说的每一个谎言吗?
还是上天不放弃要我清醒点，要我离开你?!
有时候，
我还真的宁愿我很笨很笨。。。
永远不知道你骗我。。。
至少，
我会很开心。。。
--------------------------------------------------------------
她说。。。
你说过会疼她。。。
是什么意思啊?!
那，
我呢?
我算什么?!
---------------------------------------------------------------
我满怀希望的从槟城去找你。。。
不顾一切的冒险去找你。。。
对我们的三周年纪念充满了期待。。。
但。。。
你让我很失望。。。
我不只收到你带给我的"惊喜"
还得受长辈的指责。。。
你能明白我的感受吗?!
不，
你一点都不明白。。。
----------------------------------------------------------------
我们在一起三年了。。。
其实你对我真的很好。。。
我知道你是真心爱我的。。。
和你在一起很开心很舒服。。。
我们在一起经历了很多很多。。。
和你一起的回忆历历在目。。。
想念你的一切一切。。。
-----------------------------------------------------------------
谢谢你一直以来那么的自持我。。。
谢谢你带我去了那么多的地方吃喝玩乐。。。
谢谢你不嫌弃我的外表。。。
谢谢你的爱。。。
-----------------------------------------------------------------
你说得对，
没有人是十全十美的。。。
江山易改，本性难移。
你，
始终还是，
败在你的本性。。。
死性不改。。。
------------------------------------------------------------------
这三年，
习惯依赖了你。。。
暂时的分开，
让我试下没有你在身边的日子会是怎样。。。
我心里很挣扎。。。很矛盾。。。
因为，
如果我过得了没有你的日子，
我们就真的分手了。。。
如果过不了，
就等于给你多一次机会伤害我。。。
------------------------------------------------------------------
我真的很舍不得你。。。
真的很想念你。。。
真的很爱很爱你。。。
------------------------------------------------------------------
有谁，
可以告诉我，
我该如何是好。。。

AT LAST...


At last i can access to tis blog..n at d same time..can sign in to msn oso! kinda happy.. coz i long long time din play msn edi lo..

time passes so fast..now we hav to write our date wif 07..no more 06..n 06 wont come back again.. hahaha! thinking of d past..cant bliv tat i had graduate for a year..n of course oso finished my 1st sem at USM..kinda..unbliv..hahaha!

...................................................................................................................................................................

fly back to d 1st day of 2nd sem...

tat day morning after breakfast me n cynthia rush here n there between our school office,mass comm school, our P.A room n pusat bahasa..juz to settle our course registration..walk like hell..sweat like hell..stupid punya la..n some of d course crash time la.. make us cant take d course in tis sem as we planned..tats y tis sem i only get 13 units! i really very worry la..but i edi try my best to add more course..but cant..ai..hav to suffer a lot in nex 4 sem...

....................................................................................................................................................................

2006 X'mas!

on 22 dec i went spore wif my dear n my buddies...although quite disappointed tat shit shit cant join us..but i noe i still hav to appreciate d chance..so..i muz be happy.. although we got some prob on d way to spore..hehehe! *secret* but i still enjoy it de..i don mind they blame me..coz i noe they juz kidding la..hahaha! mun n her boy so lovely..kinda envy la..although they couple for almost 4 years edi but still so sweet..hahaha! 1st nite we went to seoul garden to hav steamboat..at bugis..but actually becoz i m too tired..not really eat many..but food there quite nice ler..d nex day mun n vincent bring us to orchrad road..shopping shopping n shopping...orchrad road really got so many shopping centre..n all very branded wan ..cant afford la..hahaha! but sporian really very hang fuk la..for them..those branded clothes is consider cheap la..not exp at all..no wonder my godbro n god aunt always buy branded things for their 2 lil kids..(coz they work there)...we had steamboat again at 2nd nite..hehe! seriously..i really enjoyed tat nite..we had a lots of fun n jokes..n really very very full..

3rd day..Xmas eve..vincent bring us to harbour front..n den me n my dear went to sentosa ourselves.. i really had a happy journey tat day in sentosa...we went underwater world, images of spore,musical of fountain, n another 2 places forget d name edi...hehehe!
at nite..me n dear had our dinner at vivo city..den we rush back to orchard road coz vincent n carmen waiting for us...Orchard road really very veery crowded! n as normal..ppl spray here n there...n i almost asma bcoz those spray make me cant breath well..n some idiot spray into my eyes..tats d last nite in spore.. spore really a nice n clean country..but need to walk a lot... i more enjoy driving at msia..(but i hate jam!)

tanz my buddies n dear giv me a memorable xmas!

...........................................................................................................................................................................

new year eve.....
my USM fren came to my house tis few days...i hav to bring her 'travel' around kl n pj.. hahaha!

we went ikano there to count down..
i start 2007 wif scolding those stupid, brainless indians.. long story...
n on 1st of jan 2007..i argue wif my boy.. tears fell down tat night..
n someone more idiot,basterd, sucker,fucker hurt me..i wont forgiv tis guy forever n ever.. (although i had forgiv once..)


2007...izit a new happy yeasr for me or a sad year? i dunno..but i m sure tat i start it wif sadness n tears..i juz wish 2007 wont be a bad year for me..i don wish everything will be perfect..good r edi enuf...

dear..i really..luv u deeply...hope we will understand each other more well..n appresiate every moments we hav b4 u leave me...muaks..


recently really miz my frens very much...many...like those form 6 buddies, triplets, kadet gang, my leng lui gang, n sheau huei...recently i always staring at all photos tat i hav in my laptop..thinking all d happy n sad moments i had wif all of my frens...imagine hows their life now..realise tat frens come in n out of our life n heart...some frens maybe hate each other b4 but now edi bcome best fren..some is d 'ex best fren' but now d feeling like stranger...they still live happily without me...n me too..without them..i don noe how to express my feeling toward tis...if can i really hope can go back those moments that we shared..n i will really appreciate every frenship..but tis is impossible rite?!

now d only close fren n really understand me very very well..is him..my dear...he is part of my life edi..since we had together so many years..i really scare d day he leave me will arrive..
frens r important..but i realise a good lover r more important..coz they r d one who really can do everything for u...no matter how many best fren u hav..they never as close as ur lover or understand u more well than ur lover...i got tis feeling actually not only from myself..is oso from my 2 buddies..steph n carmen.. i bliv now hon wei understand steph much more better than anyone else...n carmen..hc r d one tat she will tell him everything..in front of hc..she will shows her real feeling..is totally diff wat she is in our heart..

seriously..i m glad to see steph n sean r so lovely..best wishes for them...n..
BEST WISHES TO EVERYONE...



p/s: all d above is juz my opinion...don get any hard feeling k..

14.12.06


today is quite a important day..my dearest godmom's birthday..wish her healthy always n be happy...n i love her so much..really thanks her..for being my lovely godmother..muaks!

n today is my boy n i de 2 years 11 months anniversary...left 1 month we goin to reach 3 years anniversary..wahahaha! dear..love u so much..i noe i always scold u la...but i really love u oso de..hope u will treat me like ur princess..hehehehe!juz kidding la k..really wish our relationship will last forever n i really hope my family will accept u..muaks!

besides..tmr morning i hav to go bek penang liao...so sad...today is d 'last' day i stay at kl.. although nex week i will come back but i still feel so sad coz i hav to use to d new life again.. d feeling is juz like i 1st time go there coz i edi came back for more than 1 month.. haiz.. hate d feeling of lonely...


really looking forward to my spore trip..hey buddies..miz u guys so much..take gd care n enjoy ur holiday ya..muaks muaks!

A Year Ago..

yea..a year ago...12.12.05.. now is 12.12.06, around 11am.. a year ago at tis time..i m at selayang hospital..pain like hell..my knee..bigger than d 'yip zi mei dai bao'...hahaha.. erm..not funny at all.. whenever i think back those day after d accident..my heart really very pain..not bcoz of how d 'crash n bang' frightened me..is bcoz of d life after tat incident..i really hate tat CRV driver..but is faith..n i m edi vy lucky coz i m still alive..u noe..my car..had damage like.. erm..i oso don noe how to describe it..my cousin bro oso scare when my dad asked him went d accident place to..to..erm..to...take my things from d car...

luckily my sis din injured much..still rmb right after BANG BANG BANG..she screamed like hell asking ppl to help me out from d car..although tat time i m damm blur..but i still can heard her..n she scold d driver like mad...i still rmb a few men..so kind..help me out from d car...n a guy..quite young..i means..juz around 20 above..fetch me n my sis go to GH..but till now..i don hav d chance to thanks him...coz i don hav his contact no..erm..hope i can meet him again.. really wanna thanks him..really appreciate his help..

still rmb all d scenes on d way to GH..d driver drive vy fast..n my sis called my dad n my boy wif a nervous sound..n i hardly to move a single step..erm..should say even my hand oso hardly to move..so so so pain! still rmb my boy don understand wat my sis said coz she is too nervous n i hav to explaine to him wat had happened...den my dad de si fu oso came GH..

as i said..i hardly to move..so after accident..i need ppl to help in everything..including change clothes,eat,n oso toilet...tat time my aunt from spore came..so sorry tat she cant travel around KL coz my mom hav to take care of me n luckily she is here..she help me alot.. coz i need at least 2 or 3 ppl to help me go toilet or anywhere..coz my left part cant move..vy pain.. thanks my aunt for help me to wash my hair coz i cant wash it myself.. thanks my mom for help me to eat..wear clothes..n accompany me sleep coz at mid night..my leg ll vy pain till my tears drop..tanz sis too..for helping me many...thanks my 2 lil bro for carry me here n there..n of course my dad too..n oso thanks my lovely frens..for support me so much..n of course my boy too...thanks for ur concern n love..thanks for understanding n take gd care of me after accident..

n i really wanna THANKS U MR.LIM KAR TIONG...bcoz of u..my life changed..bcoz of u..i lost d chances to go for china n spore trip..do u noe how pain is my heart when i cant join d trip?!!bcoz of u..i lost a few months de salary..bcoz of u..my knee always pain n wont fully recover..bcoz of u..when i m old..i cant walk..bcoz of u..my hand cant carry heavy things.. bcoz of u..i cant run properly..i cant dance..i cant jump..bcoz of u..i lost my sports activities! wat a GOOD life u gave me huh! all is juz bcoz of ur careless! u would nvr noe wat pain i m suffering..not only pain from d leg..but is pain from my heart! n wat u lost is only money!u basterd...i really hope u will get my curse! coz u never concern about wat u did.. wat a weak man! although i noe it is bad to curse ppl..but i still..wan to curse u.. coz i cant even feel u r sorry to me..as i had promised to myself..u better don let me noe who u r n where u live..i m not sure wat i will do..coz u had leave a wound..not only on my left knee..but oso in my heart..a wound tat never recover...

i miss u..i juz wan to be wif u more often..i juz wan u to accompany me more.. a lil bit more..
i noe u r very hardworking..i noe ur job r more important than accompany me..n tats nothing wrong wif it..but i really feel upset..i feel upset u cant giv me more ur time..i feel lonely.. eventhough i m at kl..but there is no diff when i m at penang..u still don hav much time for me..do u really noe how i feel?!


everytime oso work work work..n OT OT OT...but i cant angry u for tis reason..wtf.. i noe work is important..so..u always say still got chances to meet...yea..u r right..of course there is still got chances to meet if i m still alive.. den wat for to be couple tat meet once in a while..i noe u r trying to tam me..but when u said tat i really feel u not appreciate d every chances tat we hav..u juz let go..of course we wont break if meet less..but we lost d chances to make more memories in our life..i m not asking u to meet up wif me everyday..i juz hope at least once a week..since i m at KL! n everytime we meet..juz 2 or 3 hours only..really not enuf..but no choice..coz tat is my prob..coz i cant go out too late..

i noe work is important for u..coz u wan to make more money..but i really need u..to be wif me..sometimes..i really think tat i m nobody for u...in ur heart..izit work,family n frens r more important..?

i noe i always complaine tis n tat...n u always try ur best to full fill my demand.. but i juz hope can see u more often..i m juz..very miss u...


n...i will try to unsertand ur feeling more..n hope u too...

I M So So So.. HAPPY!

Yeah yeah!!! today i m so happy..so excited! tis afternoon i met MY FM Ford Everest Te Gong Dui at sri sinar..i juz fetch my sis went her fren's hse n i drop by at 7-11..wanna help my boy buy something..n i meet them! den i heard MY FM said got giv jolin concert tickets.. n me n my sis juz talking about tat concert in d car..both of us oso wanna go.. den i fast fast call my sis n ask her to accompany to get prizes..

we juz need to answer simple ques n i get I-Feel magazines (juz answer 1 of MY FM dj)..n 1 bag of healthy product (juz tell them my name)!! n my sis's fren get sing k de voucher..

n at last..we won d biggest prizes! tat is jolin tsai malaysia concert on 9 dec!! yeah yeah~ of course is not easy to get tis la..hav to answer ques n my sis hav to dance..ngek ngek ngek~

muaks..i m so so so so so HAPPY la... MY FM..luv u ya.. hohoho!!! n of course luv my sis oso la. hehehe!!!

Yo..

so boring la..now is sunday afternoon..my boy working.. cant go dating oso.. T_T
wat a boring holiday...so cham...no ppl wan date wif me.. hehe!

yesterday i went 1u meet up wif win si..accompany her shopping.. i din buy anything.. muz sabar..sabar..n sabar coz i hav to save money la.. den v go meet siow yen n her bb..kris kris.. fat fat n cute cute o..next fri nite we r goin to celebrate siow yen's birth at sho-gun.. >,< =.=''

nite..after dinner wif sl n his mom..v went pudu to buy spore bus tickets.. yeah~ hope tis trip r fun ya~ looking forward to it!

my fren..shit shit complaine tat my blog r too long..
so..tis time i juz write short short de..hehe!

i got 2 aims now..one is SAVE MONEY..(coz i wan buy a lot of things..short pants la..bluetooth la..web cam la..presents la..n many many..) n another is BE PRETTY.. hohoho!!!

Happy...

Long time din write blog edi..until nana complaine...hahaha~
lazy to type ma..


but i really got many things wan to write ler..
last sat i invite some cadet's member n my boy come over my house to eat steamboat..coz parents don let me go out ma..so i invite frens come lo..hehehe! although not many attend but i m happy oso..coz i really long time din meet up wif them..tat day morning me n tcy n her boy went pasar to buy steamboat de food...den tcy came my hse to prepare d steamboat's soup..she really quite expert in cooking ler..can marry liao la.. haha!

at nite..after finish eating..some of us start to clean d stuff..n of course.. only those 'adults' doing d cleaning n those under age playing d PS2.. hahaha! n i m so touch tat my boy help me to mop d floor o~ i really din ask him to do tat..coz myself oso lazy to mop..hahaha! but he think should mop ler.. i juz wan to say.. "oh....sooooo sweeeeeet........" (tiru stephz de)

den we play cards..quite fun ler..hahaha! got some new year's feel..
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sunday noon..
lunch at SODA Restaurant (Sri Hartamas) wif my boy.. coz their lunch set is cheaper.. hehe!
den while waiting lin lin n peggy go 'pancing' prawn...me n ma boy went selayang mall to hav a walk..
erm..end up we din go pancing prawn coz when i reach there..i don feel interested anymore.. seem like vy boring la! den they accompany me go 'urut' kaki..coz my wound still not recover yet..d 'si fu' vy cheong hei de..always say d same thing..n when she is talking..will 'plus' some action oso..so her hand will stop 'rubbing'.. wasting my time.. i edi giv signal to my boy, linlin n peggy don giv reaction n juz keep silent but my 7+1 de boy very @$#%* de la...he keep on asking 'si fu' question about my leg contidion n ask 'si fu' de history tim.. T_T u noe..old ppl vy happy when got teenagers chat wif them..n they ll talk non-stop.. i noe my boy is like tat.. he vy expert in social wif ppl..although he might not really interested in ppl's things but he noe d way to 'ying chou'.. tats y all his relatives n neighbour oso vy like him de leh...but for me..i really don noe how to communicate wif aunties n uncles... hehehe!

at nite..we went 'mei jia fu' at menjalara to hav our dinner..4 ppl but order 5 dishes.. 2 taufu (yummy yummy),1 fish (sek ban), 1 vege n 1 pai kuat...hahaha!! vy vy full coz i add rice o! nowadays really feel tat i can eat a lot liao...setanding wif my boy..
after dinner we went jusco to hav a walk..act is purposely go there coz we wanna eat ais-cream..baskin robbins.. hehehe! wat a fat gang.. n i oso bought 1 slice of chocolate banana from secret recipe (coz i still rmb last time my buddies told me tat tat flavour is vy delicious.. ^,^).. wah..i think i really can be fei po lo...
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i really very miz my buddies...2 in spore..2 juz back form uum..1 at canada...1 working for digi.. 1 always dating wif her boy...n of course my leng lui gang!
yen yen.. really miz u n kris kris o..i sure ll attend ur birthday gathering de if i m free! hehe!!
i really long long time din meet shwu wenn liao..hope yen yen de birthday ll gather all of us again..

may all d ppl tat i concern always in hapiness o..
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tis few weeks i oso thinking about 2 things..one is LOVE n another is MONEY..
wat is true love..sometimes although u really love someone..but there r many other factors tat will make u feel unsecure or make u to giv up someone..a long-term relationship is really not easy to maitain..it need to go through many many challenges...most of my fren around me tat having long-term rship oso facing quite same de prob..i don noe how to explaine but other ppl really wont understand..cant feel wat we feel... erm..don noe wat i m trying to say oso.. aiseh..

Money..a prob tat really make me headache..i really don understand y i can be so pk de? hehe... T_T

Yeah yea!!!

my 1st sem end edi! time passes really fast! i m goin to start my second sem one month later~ oh no..really cant imagine how i go thru my orientation week..d assign+mid sem exam period..still rmb i cry like hell on d 1st day i went there...really cry like hell~ still rmb my previous hostel is like a jail... still rmb tat time everynite when i sleep oso sweat like hell.. still rmb during orientation i walk till my injured leg really pain.. still rmb during malay's puasa..i oso puasa like them..still rmb i 'fly' between penang n kl..still rmb d lizards n ants in my room scary me! STILL RMB D FEELING OF LONELY..is really a bad feeling! really cant bliv i had gone thru those tough time..although there is still 2 1/2 years de hard time to go.. but at least i had gone thru 1 sem.. i bliv tat no matter wat hard time we r having.. we ll go thru it n everything ll be fine n we ll be tougher! so for those my buddies tat is having i tough life.. be strong ya! gambateh man~


my parents went to spain edi..for a week.. left 3 of us at home coz my sis not back yet..i m d eldest..hav to take care of 2 lil king n cook for them..argh..n my mom 'order' me : "cannot go out till they come back! " aiseh.. i juz finish my exam.. but need to stay at home! T_T even curi-curi go out oso cannot la! coz they edi ask my relatives to spy us whether got be good gal n good boy stay at home wo.. juz now my cousin bro n his family juz came...to 'spot check' us...n another cousin bro oso got call n see whether all of is at home anot.. fiuh.. i m so lucky tat i din go out..if not..sure ll get scold when they back! at first think tat if my sis come back den mayb we can take turn to tk care of my bro but juz now she sms me tat tmr nite she ll b back but d next day she ll go genting for 2 days 1 nite! means tat... there is no diff she come back or not lo! =,=''

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last sat i went fun fair wif my boy..n his fren,ken lin n peggy...
we really hav fun..although i m so bad luck...cant even win a better prizes like others get a big bear.. but i m happy too..d fun fair got many super excited de games...even more excited den d salero shot at genting..i not dare to play ler..hehehe!
after tat..4 of us plan to hav supper..but don noe where to go coz everyone oso diff opinion.. n u guys noe rite..i muz b back b4 12am..even 11.30pm oso ll get scold edi... after discuss n discuss..we finally say go DPC..place tat peggy work.. erm..wanna add tat during we find parking..we meet kong sheau man..twice...she oso driving her wira n finding parking.. make think of d past again when i see her.. no doubt tat she is a pretty gal, but no matter how.. i still wont forget wat she did..one word.. HATE.

DPC is full wif customer..don even hav a empty table.. but peggy is d supervisor there.. she start to prepare for us..but i don hav much time waiting..so my boy oso say fetch me back 1st..but when v tell them v r goin to leave.. i can feel tat they r not so song..act i really understand.. coz if i m peggy i oso not song..n tis is not d 1st time i 'sou hing' really not dare to break my family's rules.. although they r nth after tat but my heard not feeling gd.. tat time i feel guilty + not kap wif my boy's life style.. for them..11pm is early..but for me.. is damm late edi.. i oso wan to hav fun n like other teenagers.. yam cha till late late.. go clubing.. but my family not allow me to hav a life like tat..i m upset..especially everytimes becoz of me.. they got many places cant go or hav to back early.. n most of d time my boy hav to fetch me back 1st n meet them again..so ma fan...so xin ku... >,<>


last wednesday nite at penang..i fell down n my left leg injured.. got a big big bruise n bleeding..very very pain.. till now.. ll go see doc soon.. coz quite serious.. some more is left leg.. ai..y tis year..so bad luck? my god brother ask me to write number 4 him..n those number tat i wrote he wont buy.. coz i m having bad luck~ hahaha!! miz my god nephew so much.. he so so so adorable la! next time post his cute cute photo here.. hehehe!

Final...

long long time no update my blog edi..coz always not much time to online..n i din bring my laptop back to penang..now using fren's laptop to on9..
now is exam period..so stressful...not really hav d motivation to study..n my fren here juz planning where to go after exam..aiks.. i wanna go clubing ler..but always cant go.. so bad la..came penang edi 1 semester liao la..so freedom but yet never been to clubing once.. even go watch movie or sing k oso don hav..should say till now never been to gurney plaza oso.. so cha! coz really no transport ma..some more don noe how to take public bus...taxi's fees at penang is damm expensive! so..i think KL better la..at least i got my own car..wanna go out eat no need to walk.. haha! but i really hope can fast fast go clubing la! eh...who can bring me go leh..!


i finish 2 paper liao...eco n teknik berfikir.. wanna say tat..really hard la..especially eco... no eyes see liao~ i really don hav d 'study mood' la..keep on counting when i can back to KL... thinking wat i wan to during my holiday.. hehe!



fly back to 1 week ago......


22.10.2006 (sunday)
today chinese society having an event.. <>
n i m in charge in 'camera' =,=" capture capture n capture...
a bit sien but i learn a lot of things oso ler..learn how to take a good picture..with or without flash.. n they r some knowledge when u wanna take picture during d perfomance.. thanks a lot for those senior..tat day i really hav fun although i not really close wif those ppl coz tis is d first time i take part..n d perfomance is really nice..especially those drama..touching n so funny.. i m glad tat i take part in tis event..new experience... n i knew many new frens from d event oso.. kekekeke!

but tat night ( i mean on 22.10.06 de night)..i m damm angry wif someone..really mad..found out tat 1 of my fren..really evil! always pretend naive..did something tat i really angry about her! there is a long story..i think i cant describe here..juz realise tat d there is really some evil ppl in d world wearing a 'angel mask'.....juz open ur eyes big big when u make new frens! don fool by their evil smiles...

erm...stop here la..wanna study lo~
good luck to all my frens ya~

Firstly..i wanna thanks those ppl tat concern me so much..i think i m ok edi.. so don worry la k~ n i appreciate u guys de concern..

recently i make my mind clear edi..concentrate on my study..coz i really worry tat i cant get eco as major..n i don wan get bad results..although tis few weeks de life is tough..cant eat well n cant sleep well..but my final coming soon..n i will be free after tat.. looking forward much much for my holiday! especially d spore trip..wish everything goin smoothly..really wish i will hav a nice n memorable trip..pray tat there r no accident *wink*, no ppl fong fei gei.. no bad things happen..n hope all of us got enuf $$$~ hehe!

i edi forgiv my boy..after scold him kau kau..coz some say he is right..coz he tell or not tell i oso @##$%...teng seng said if is him..he oso choose to lie.. sigh.. gals r so pity...i noe..is me to make him to tell lies..but yet..i really disappointed coz i edi changed a lot but he still do tat to me..waste my 'sum gei'..although i forgiv him..but now..everyday i oso put my bad temper on him.. hohoho~ he deserve it.. lolz~

don noe y my health not so good edi..mayb is din eat well gua or very stress ler.. yesterday i almost fainted on d way i walk back to my hostel..yesterday morning i edi not so feeling well..like blur blur n don noe wat should i do..i hav to go jabatan bendahari to take payment slip.. so after tat i go out to da bao chinese food.. while i walk back (coz they say friday there r no uni's bus on 12pm-2.30..but after i walk half way..i saw many bus la! T_T )..i keep on sweating..n my stomach n my backside very pain..really not feeling well...but i still hav to walk back..i try to walk faster..den i feel tat i no much energy liao..i noe i cant edi..i noe myself r goin to fainted..but i keep on asking myself nth de..walk faster..but soon..my view blur..cant tahan edi..so i fast fast walk near d lake..n throw all my things on d ground n sit down..tat time really very xin ku er..cant breath well oso..n my head so pening..den after a while..i only go back.. n i really wanna crazy coz while i reach my hostel..i only realise tat i left my key in d room! oh gosh..so blur la me! n my roommate went to her sis there edi! shit! of course i don hav d energy to go find her la..so far~ so i go my fren's room n rest..den wait till 2.30 only go office n take spare key to open..hav to pay RM3 leh..juz borrow a while only mer.. >,<

=Black Day=


today..again...my mood...from blue turn to black.. i oso don wan..but really many things is out of our control..

=If someone betrayed u once, is his fault ; If someone betrayed u twice, is ur faulth=
tis is d personal message tat i post yesterday nite..saw tis from a email.. r u agree wif tat? i m quite agree..but not fully agree..today..tis sentence make me think of :

=If someone lied u once, is his fault ; If someone lies u twice, is ur fault=
is tis true? there is some reason when u lie someone.. n d reason or excuses u tell lies is "i scare u not happy or angry.." not only in ur relationship..it is oso apply in friendship, n family... don say about relationship first..

friendship, sometimes u will lie ur fren..to avoid him from getting upset.. usually..it is white lies..

family, sometimes u will tell lies to ur parents.. usually, is for ur own fun or avoid getting scold or punishment.. is tis oso consider as white lies? i lie my mom whenever i go dating..although i noe i m bad but i no choice..coz she used to stopped me from meeting him last time..coz he is low educated..i noe my mom care for me..but..i don agree her thinking..so..i choose to tell lies.. so..is it her fault for making me tell lies? both..both oso wrong..

relationship, ? i really don noe..


today morning..i awake at 7.30am..but i fall asleep again..i got class at 10am..but yesterday i edi ask my boy to giv me morning call when he go to work..so i juz continue sleep..tot he will call me..den my fren sms me..n i m awake, is 8.49am! oh gosh~ luckily my fren sms me..if not i sure will late..den i call my boy 'asked' him y forgot to morning call me AGAIN..(coz yesterday i wanna wake up early to study he oso forgot to wake me up)..i not so happy coz tis is second time..last time he wont forget..but i m not really angry coz recently he is quite busy wif his work..n he is quite fan about it coz their factory is facing some problem..
after brush teeth n wash face..i m getting ready to go for tutorial..(long time no attend class edi..) den my buddies..siow yen sms me..she asked me if yesterday nite noe where my boy go n noe he went out wif who anot..after i read her sms i edi noe there is something bad happened..so i called her..jing xian is wif her..n she told me tat she saw my boy wif a gal.. yam cha..i noe who is tat gal..is szu mae..a gal tat is cute n pretty..last time flirt wif my boy oso ( tat gal told me de) but i edi not angry tat gal..coz last time i choose to be fren wif tat szu mae coz i don wan to hate her..n we chat before..now she got a bf oso..i noe my boy got keep in touch wif tat gal..but i edi try to change better..i edi not jealous n sensitive..coz i noe who is tat gal..n i noe it is impposible tat my boy only got a gal's fren..juz like i oso got many guy's fens..i cant be so selfish..

but i really hate tat he lie to me! although i noe they yam cha wif many frens..i might be sad or not happy if he tell me tat he go yam cha wif tat gal..but i will be nth in a short time if he tam me..at least better than now..better than now tat when i think of wat he said to me yesterday..i feel.. yiak..all is lies.. so so so unsecure! so after i hang up d calls wif siow yen, i called him..i straight away call him n ask him y he lie me..he din deny..but giv excuse tat he scare i will angry..den i juz told him i don wan talk to him n i shut d phone..

He sms me..said sorry..said they r juz frens n he scare i will angry.. hey.. stupid boy, don't u understand tat i had told u many times tat i rather u tan bai to me than u lie to me?! we had talk about tis issus many many times! i edi tired of repeat it again n again..although i might not happy u go out wif gal's frens..but i edi learn to control n i promised to giv u freedom to make frens wif gals..especially now i m so far apart from u..i cant accompany u..i juz don like tat u lie to me~ i hate everytime my fren tell me tat "tat day i saw ur boy wif XXX ....u fast fast ask him..he lie u'! " u noe how d feeling is it?! is terrible! is suck! is it my fault tat making u tell lies to me?! is it?

y..everytime when u did something bad..there is a way tat i will noe..
y.. everytime when i tot everything is working smoothly between us..there is something bad happen tat hurt me much..
y..everytime when d percentage of trust on u getting higher n higher..urself will break it into 0?
y..everytime when i become more confidence to our relationship..bad things will happen..
y..u becoming a better guy but not a better boyfriend?
y..i m struggling here..cant u do something tat make me feel better..? but u choose to make me more suffer..
y..i m so useless..love u so deeply make me need ur support so much..need u so much.. somehow...i need brave to break wif u..unless i m strong enuf to continue wif tis relationship...
y..u really good to me but when everytime u tell lies..u r d evil for me~

y.. y.. y.. is d god asking me to leave him? is it my fault tat he lie me? is it my fault? should i forgiv him?is it tis matter worth to end our 2 years 9 months relationship? i don noe wat should i do..any decision i oso very suffer..don feel like wanna forgiv him so easily..but he keep asking is it i wan to game over..i m kinda hate when he ask me like tat..sound like he don care if i wan to break..so i edi off my phone..i m tired..mentality tired..tears cant come out make me more suffer..cant release my sadness..


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today is really damm bad day..or should say when someone is depress..all d bad things keep on coming?

yesterday we suppose hav a presentation for our eco assignment on 5pm.. when my group reach d presentation hall..there is many groups oso.. den we wait till 6.10pm like tat.. den u noe wat happen? our assignments..missing! don noe is missing,code error or d lecturer's took wrong la.juz tat we hav to delay till tmr afternoon only present again.. really shit! waste so much time waiting there!

n today..my 1st tutorial class cancelled! me edi very down becoz of stupid A Long..but still wanna attend tutorial..but cancelled! so me n my fren..walk to d only chinese food stall in our uni near our school..plan to hav lunch there coz we got another tutorial on 12pm..at first i m quite enjoy my meal..coz long time no go there eat chinese food..but things turn bad..i saw many birds fly here fly there..n d birds eat those food tat ppl's leave..n 1 things very suprise is i saw d birds eat d fried rice tat is sell for students! oh shit! tat time my fren go other stall buy some kuih..so when she come back..i told her wat i saw...den once again..i saw d birds stand on d fried eggs! oh shit! i m thinking d virus of H5N1~den i keep on complaine.. u noe wat happen next? don noe d if d birds noe tat i m talking about them or wat..one birds fly over me..touch my head! fuck! i no mood to go for next tutorial edi..i juz went back n bath.. at d end..i still din attend any class...n if i die next week..d reason should be i get d H5N1 virus..

after bath..i plan to put d clothes into washing machine..coz wanna wash my towel..n i purposely collect enough RM2 de syilling..tis is d first time i plan to wash wif washing machine..but things really cant be like wat i wish.. when i go to see d washing machine whether is clear n clean anot..yiaks..is smelly..d machine is full of dirty water..wtf~ n end up i hav to wash d clothes wif hands again...

damm tired..n depress again..actually i really don wan post bad news de blog here edi..but..fate..i still in d 'dark period'.. thanks for those frens tat care for me so much.. d only thing i feel better when i m here is when i chat wif u all n update u guy's news..n of course.. when he is care for me.. but not today.. sigh..

actually yesterday nite i edi got d motivation to study hard edi..but now..i wanna sleep till evening!

Hate Hate Hate!


Really hate uni's life~hate my room! ants r around..lizards.. spider... scary me!

feel unsecure!!!

i cant find where d ants come from...it suddenly appear here n there..really...while u r reading..it suddenly appear in d middle of ur books.. ur table n everywhere! i oso cant see where they 'climb' from...n another thing tat like to climb is my water bottle..i don noe y la..is d water sweet?they oso cant get it d water mer...i think d water is 'sweet' for them..coz everytime d water inside d bottle finished..no ants..den after u refill it n put on d floor...u can see some ants on it edi.. shit..i everytime oso got wash d bottle wan leh.. recently d ants don noe is cant find food to eat or wat..they like to climb everywhere..n u noe wat..yesterday..i found few on my bed! fuck! after i killed them..den after a while..there r some more! i really don noe where they come from la! u cant see them climb on d wall...my floor is simen..so is hard to see but usually ants will go in one way rite? but here no!! they appear everywhere! not in group..juz 1 or 2..i feel so geli!!! i hate here~ really damm hate! make me cant sleep well! n my roommate's water boiling machine..oso got some ants climb inside..damm stupid wan la..before u boil water sure will clean it first rite..den after u use it sure left some hot water inside rite..u still can see 1 or 2 stupid ants climb over it..n after a while or d next time u open, u can see d ants died inside..don noe it die becoz of lemas or die bcoz of d hot water! is EVERYTIME u can see ants die inside it!

ok..about spider..tis i not very scare..coz i can use d newspaper n 'piak'..n d spider ll go to d heaven or hell..don say me kejam..coz if i din kill them...i will be crazy staying here..


Lizard! I HATE lizard..coz i hav no idea how to 'treat' them! i never kill a lizard! they r so big n ugly la! even if i got d brave to use newspaper n 'piak' them..n i 'success' to kill them..i oso don hav d brave to take their 'mayat' la! n they like to make those weird sound..scary me while i m sleeping..juz now...is juz now..suddenly 2..is 2 big lizards like fighting..d bigger one go after d smaller one(i think is dark colour de) yiaks!!! actually i cant see cleary coz while i m facing my laptop..they appear on my right side...i mean from a wall to my wardrobe! d dark one don noe go where liao! i m thinking n worrying tat d dark one now in my wardrobe...wuwuwu!!i really very scare now la..n d big one don noe hide where oso..i really scare! i really scare if later i bath n take my clothes..den suddenly it appear! juz now i edi scare until hug my 'bear bear' n stand on my chair liao... T_T coz tis room is small...is quite near me la! can u imagine if d lizard climb over my clothes or my shoes... oh!!! help..

later gonna buy some spray..for d ants n for any insects... i _i i really wanna be crazy le..
i don wan stay here liao...really don like! sometimes really hope to stop study...suddenly i so admire those student tat can giv up studying here..there really some student did it coz they not use to uni's life...

Wat Happen to Me Huh?!


Recently i really feel very depress..n i feel myself had change a lot...is a bad changing.. i become very emotianal n i cant control my feeling...i try to be happy but i feel lonely n depress most of d time..

i feel depress n down bcoz of my looks..i shame to face ppl...so i refuse to attend class.. i get scolded by my boy..den i choose to lie him..i tell him i got attend class..but actually d last whole week i din even attend 1 class...d whole week i juz stay at my room...sitting on d chair n facing d laptop most of d time..nothing to do..feel tat frenster is quite boring edi..n i don feel like chatting in msn..although i on9 most of d time..but i always put off9 mode unless i saw my buddies on9 den only out d mode to busy or away.. time passes very fast..d exam is coming so soon but yet i not really study hard..everyday i juz read 1 or 2 chapter only..

last week..i sleep very late n purposely wake up around 10 or 11am..den after brush my teeth n wash my face i will on9 n doin nth..i scare about my exam but don noe y i din hav d mood to read..den i ll go www.playfirst.com n download some stupid childish game..they provide free an hour trial games..means tat u can play an hour free for tat game n if u feel interested u hav to buy to continue..of course i wont buy..so i tried many games...all is simple games but it test ur speed on reaction..i really tried many games..some game i install again after delete..sigh..den after spend hour n hour on this stupid games...is time for me to bath edi..den after bath i wash my clothes n go da bao malay food..opps..i left 1 thing..i din eat breakfast..but i hav maggie mee as my lunch around 2pm like tat..
den after dinner is around 6pm like tat..i continue play games n study a while..n it is already 10pm or 11 pm..chat a while wif my boy den at nite many ppl on9..so i will chat in msn a while like normal, click here click there in frenster..my email n so on...my life juz go on like this..so grey..

everynight i cant sleep well becoz i m alone..when there is some weird sound..i will awake..i only can sleep well around 6 or 7 in d morning..everynight i think of many things..i noe i cant continue my life like tis but yet everytime i tell myself to change but d next day i will be d same..i noe i should hang out wif frens..i cant live alone..u noe..is really very cham 24 hours stay in such a small room...i noe d main reason..i don hav confident to myself..tat day went pizza hut i oso very 'bu zi zai'..


yesterday midnite my boy called me..i really cant control my feeling..my tears keep on dropping..i tell him my life here actually very lonely...d whole day i only talk when he called me..i tell him don noe y i edi don hav d motivation to make my life full of colours..don hav d motivation to study hard although in my heart i wan to do so..n at last my tears burst out but i din tell him d truth is i had lost my own confidence..coz i noe he sure will say me stupid... see..?i found out tat i become not so honest in front of him edi...sometimes really don noe how to tell d feeling to others..coz i cant describe it clearly n only myself understand d real feeling..i wanna be crazy or 'yao wat zheng'...

i really don like uni's life..try to enjoy it but still..quite hate~ i hate d eco's lecturer..coz after many students complaine him..he balas dendam pula..he said :" u all complaine me till so bad..how am i goin to giv high marks to ur assignment?!" oh shit.. he not only bad in teaching.. n he oso makan rasuah..all d senior said when u pass up ur assign, giv him a hamper n treat him KFC n he will giv u A's.. n of course..tis year many group did tat..but noe he return all d hamper coz got other lecturer critic him..hahaha! dai sei.. but he balas dendam la..actually we edi pass up d assign 2 weeks ago le..but now he wan us to present it! n he ask us to print out a leadership article from google n write comment on it..wat d hell 'leadership' related wif econs? leadership is under management la! baka..at first not many ppl do it coz he always not serious de la..but then he really angry wif us le so he said mus do it seriously coz tat is additional marks for our group assign.. oh! y wanna like this wo..

another reason is maybe there is too many malays around me.. T_T u noe.. malay's thinking n attitude r XXXX..although some quite frendly but i still..hate..

i really hope can go back home n eat my mom's cook n drink soup...i really wanna be crazy staying here..i hope can fast fast holiday n go back kl..i wan go watch movie..i wan eat many many delicious de food..i wan sing k.. i wan watch astro..i wan sleep at my bed..juz miss my home..but don noe y..my family din call me when i m here...juz like forget bout me edi.. tat is oso y i feel depress...last time my mom oso will call my sis once in a while..but how about me?! luckily i still got my boy to call me everyday n concern me...if not..i think..i really get 'yao wat zheng' edi!

really feel myself so useless..only noe how to ask ppl cheer up but den suddenly i bcm like tis..don noe how to cheer up myself..i noe wat is d prob but yet i don noe how to solve it..
anyway..i ll still try my best to.. -smile- n throw away d bad feeling..

Special Day?



today is 14 Oct 2006...14th again..n i m celebrate my 2 years n 9 months anniversary o!

erm.. actually is myself celebrate only la..sound weird? ya..coz my boy don care bout d months anniversary.. T_T he said years annivesary only important wo.. at first i very mind n sad coz he don care about months anniversary de..but..erm...now i understand edi.. don force him or expect him do anything liao lo..haha! coz i realise tat if ur expectation getting higher n higher(without ur knowledge) to ur beloved..not only they will suffer..but will getting more n more arguement...coz once they din do wat u expect..u will feel disappointed..then u will think that he or she don care u la..don love u edi la..don understand u la...bla bla bla... then of course u will show d 'anger'...n den of course...d arguement begin..haha~ n usually gal will think too much..will bring out all d 'old story'.. den a small arguement become big arguement..if ur beloved din tam u good good.. d big arguement will be a fight..n den will have the thinking " lets break ! " oh man.. terrible!

i m not kidding or making story..is true..especially for those "long-term" relationship.. u will hav the thinking tat " he or she should be understand u well edi...noe wat is ur demand edi.. should be like tis, should be like tat..etc etc.." but then when things doesn't be like wat u expect.. u will start complaine n mumble n mumble...den u will hav the thinking " we had been together so long edi but u still don understand me a! u oso don care me de.." sigh....
i admit tat myself hav d problem... kekeke! i m trying my best not to behave like that liao la... but i must thanks my godsis...my lovely godsis... she wif her ex-bf edi more than 3 years.. but at d end they break oso..coz d guy futher his studies at australia edi.. n d reason they break is she feel that d guy don care her...but act d guy love her so much.. flight back right after she say wanna break..but she don wan..everyone was so shock when she announce she break edi! not only they 2gether so long edi.. but oso she was so close wif d guy's family even d guy went oversea...she went to d guy's family trip without d guy oso..but sigh... break.. is their ending oso..

i wanna thanks her becoz sometimes when i m unhappy becoz of my boy.. she giv me advice..
i still rmb when she break tat time..i got ask my boy tat me n him will be like my godsis anot.. but..who knows?.. we don noe wat will happen in future.. we only can appreciate everythings n treat everyone wif our true heart...n try not to expect wat ppl around u can do for u...do wat u can do for others first.. is not easy to do like tat..juz don put our expectation too high lo..
kekeke!

since today is a special day for me..i m planning to hav pizza as my dinner! (wif my fren)hahaha~ ai..these few days i everyday eat malay food..damm s*ck la!

erm..i m quite happy oso coz today i access tis web site easily! so suprise la.. mayb he noe today is my special day? haha! *wink*

n of course i wanna write something for my boy..although i noe he never read my blog.. juz wanna say that i really lup him o~ n miss him a lot a lot.. i promise tat i will try to be strong n study hard..juz like him work so hard.. *hugz hugz*

p/s: if u r my buddy..don laugh me la..wish me! kekekeke~

Recovering~

ai...at last i can access tis web site !! i edi tried d whole day leh!!! i wonder y it is so hard to access huh?! do u guys hav d same prob?

now is 7.10 pm..i juz finish my dinner..ai...malay food again..no choice..don feel like go outside.. so juz da bao at near near de canteen n eat at room myself..my roommate yesterday nite only back to our room..but juz now she went to her sis there again..din stay even for 24 hourse..she wont be back tis weekend again...n i m alone again..should i used to it? although i like 'privacy',but sometimes...i really don like alone..no one to talk to me..unless my boy call me..so i always online n on d music..so tat there is 'sound'..act on9 oso very boring...some web site cant access coz band by usm..*scuk*

today..d whole day..i stay at room again.. >.< my fren ask me go out for dinner but i don wan..
ai...d whole day i juz on9 n study...kinda boring~

seed yian..thanks for ur comment...never think tat there is someone is quite same situation wif me..but i think i m more serious than u la..although i m hurt..but i still love my mom.. coz she is my mom...

final exam is coming very soon..less than 3 weeks...feel nervous when i think about it..but yet i still not very hardworking...coz is really hard to read so many in 1 semester...in around 3 months only...d lecturer is *scuk* too..don noe wat they r teaching..some more we really don noe d exam paper format..not like last time secondary school life..got seminar about d format n marks..d timing..now...?

many of my frens will go back to their hometown next week...den only back for exam..so good!! but i cant go back..yer..so down la..coz i need to take part in d event tat organised by chinese society...on 22 oct!!! shit..i m so regret ler...even hari deepavali i oso cant go back to accompany my boy..i only can back on 23 leh! n tat day is hari raya~ T_T worrying there is no bus ticket ler..

all d class will end next week..so fast huh?! time passes so fast that we r goin to end our 1 semester edi!! unbelievable hoh! think back d 1st week i enter usm..really cant imagine tat i had gone through those hard time..still rmb i cried like hell until my eyes bengkak d 1st day...during orientation i hav to walk a lot..until my leg very pain coz injured before..den right after d orientation on friday noon..i took bus n back home...haha! n now..i oso don now whether myself used to uni's life anot...coz i m not really like it n enjoy it.. many ppl say uni's life is fun n happening..but don noe y..today..i don hav tat thinking... >.<

i noe tat i should not always think about d past..but..i really miss my secondary school life..especially my kadet's life n form 6 life..miss those day tat hanging out wif seniors n juniors.. miss those day tat i handle activities..i miss d progress...when planning activities wif my best partner..tcy..

n i really miss form 6 life! i cant get back a gang like form 6 de geng..so crazy n yet so clever in study..miss d time we drive car to yam cha..shopping..hav dinner..eat lunch after school..sing k..take sticker photo.. mis d time we fool each other..craps a lot while teacher is teaching..hide shit's water bottle, wallet, spec's box, n her hush puppies pencil case (we call it as panties's box) haha~sometimes d whole class help us to hide shit's belongings..of course everyone oso get fool by others b4..n we like to bully mou mou..play her curly hair..haha! play someone when they r sleeping in d class...n of course i still rmb d time we study together..discuss s ques..go kl tuition together... although STPM r tough...but i really enjoy it! is like honeymoon years to me~ thanks for u all tat had bright up my life!

now in uni's life..i edi cant meet a gang of fren tat will play d crazy game like pay RM18 for d highest marks or d lowest marks n then hav our super delicious seafood dinner.. now..my uni de gang came from diff places..not everyone same course or same class..all of us seldom gather together after class..


yesterday..shit ask me our gang will 'break' anot one day later..or in future maybe we cant rmb each other liao..tat time i cant answer her..coz everything is changing..last time i oso got a few best buddy like yee mun n chui hua..but after we graduate..we seldom keep in touch..n now like stranger edi....i think of wat she said d whole day..n i got d answer.. " AS LONG AS WE KEEP IN TOUCH OFTEN...WE WILL BE BEST FRENS FOREVER..." but i think i would never forget all my buddies..like my triplet..my form 6 gang n my lenglui buddies gang...n of course my boy's sis.. ^,^


ok..i hav to stop here..wanna study lo~ to all my buddies...take good care n be happy ya!

>.<


long time din write blog..wanna noe y?! coz tis blog is suck..during d nite of mooncake festival..i had wrote a blog..quite long..mana tau after i post out..is blank! n don noe y i hardly access to tis web site..now is 5pm..n i edi try to access since today morning around 10am.. fcuk! juz now really think of wanna create a new blog in friendster..but very weird is when i hav d thinking.. i can access liao.. >,<


i m back..yesterday evening..feeling bad..miss my bed, my pillow, my blanket, my room, miss my house badly...

this year mooncake festival is very boring...n not fun..i pruposely back on tat day..tot wanna hav dinner at home...erm..is true tat i had my dinner at home..but not together wif family.. my youngest bro n dad came back late..my another bro wanna go out..so he ate first..den i eat wif mom..erm..is really not 'tuan yuan fan' lo...anyway..my sis oso din back..

den only left me n my lil bro at home...others..went out..wat a lonely festival..i juz on9...but d bull shit cable din function well..keep on dc...once again..fcuk! tat day..i purposely don wanna go out..tot of stay at home accompany family..mana tau..most of them went out.. T_T

tat nite..tot of call my boy n look at d moon together..mana tau...all d haze cover d moon edi..d sky r dark..juz like my mood now.. ai...

actually tat day i m very happy n excited coz tat day is d 1st time i drive my mom's bmw...but then wif d mood right now...everything becm bad... erm..but when i think of d moment i driving bmw..still got a lil excited ler..1st time mer~

last Saturday..i went for a movie wif pui yan, win si n her coll frens...erm...bcoz win si watch 'bao bei ji hua' edi..so we watch another movie..." love story"... i wanna say...'FCUK'.... wat a shit movie..is so so so artistic..until we don understand wat d hell d movie is talking about.. n d whole cinema only got 7 of us n another 1 auntie...i m wonder if tat day we din watch tis movie..d auntie will watch alone anot coz d movie quite scary..u sure curious y a "love story" will scary? don ask me..coz i really don noe wat d hack d director wanna show..tis movie is 18 sx..got scary murder scene.. n a lil sex scene oso.. my conclusion is.. tis movie is fcuking hell! usually no matter how a movie is not very nice..but if u watch it in cinema..it will be nice oso.. tis is d 1st movie tat i really think is scuk~ oh..forgiv me tat being so rude..but i really very hate tis movie..

den i went menjalara eat sushi wif win si...we chat a lot..erm..feel better coz i long long time din meet her...at nite..had dinner at dragon-i (1u) wif my boy..n i feel much more better coz can eat shanghai siu long bao..yummy yummy...he promised me long time ago n at last he din break his promised..haha~ thanks a lot ya ! n tat nite i m happy coz he praise me..i mean.. said my taste is good ler..coz he wanna buy a long pants..when he is choosing d pants to try..i took a pants for him tat he think not so nice..but i think is nice ler...then after he tried all...d pants tat i choose is d nicer for him!!! wakaka...

last Sunday noon...my boy brought me for buffet in Legend Hotel...well..i m happy ler..coz he so sayang me..but juz wanna say tat Legend Hotel de hi-tea is not nice!! not much thing to eat..n not very delicious oso...but i m still happy when hanging out wif him ler...


Today....
feel moody~ very very moody~ i don noe how to describe my feeling..but i really feel very depress...i cant sleep well d whole nite..i m alone again...my roommate stay at her sis there... i juz very very miss my house n ..n very 'zi bei'wif my looks....

act today i wake up quite early..7.39am..i got class at 10am..but i don feel like goin..so force myself to sleep..n i wake up again around 8.45am...n i don wan wake up..so i sleep again.. n i wake up again at 9.49am... i look at d mirror n sigh..y am i so ugly..

12pm de class i oso din attend..i juz on9..trying to access tis stupiak web site..wanna spread out my feeling...n don noe y at tis time wanna find a close fren to crap oso don hav...none of them on9..those on9 de i don feel like talk wif them....i plan to go another tutorial on 4pm... but i cancelled it myself again...coz don feel like see anyone.. at tis moment..i m glad tat my roommate leave me alone...although i don like d feeling od lonely..but i more hate d feeling of seeing anyone wif my ugly face..

i don noe y..my mom told me tat nowadays everygal got beautiful skin...only me..so ugly..ya..i agree... although some gal don hav good looking or fat..but they got a beautiful skin...make them not ugly..even looks more beautiful than me...
but i oso don wan like this...who will likes it..who don wan be pretty wo...tell me?! who don wan to be pretty or handsome?! i edi very zi bei..i don hav confidence at all...coz even my mom oso will critic my looks.. do u ever heard tat a mom say to her child tat don like to see her face when talking to her? do u heard tat a mom don like her frens see her child coz d child hav a bad skin?! coz she don wan being asked "y ur child like tat huh?!" i really hurt...hurt deeply..but i don hate her..coz i noe tat is her attitude..n i m USED to it edi..since long long time ago...i noe she cares me oso de...she keep on mumble me juz for my own good..she don let me eat seafood, spicy food, chicken n egg..etc oso for my own good... but as a gal..i edi very down..but i cant show it..i always act like i m nothing wif it...but yet always feel depress when i m alone...but i really get hurt sometimes when my mom show me d face tat "arrgh..u really looks ugly"...tats y i like to stay at my room...doin nth but juz stay at my room..don like to stay at living room unless there r no ppl... i understand their feeling when looking my face..coz myself oso feel very ugly...

tats y i always feel unsecure n no confidence at all..especially in my relationship...i cant believe he will love a ugly gal...

act whenever i go out..i oso very scare to face ppl...but i noe i still hav to go on my life...so i always pretend like i very confidence n being happy in front of ppl...d only one tat i will show out my true feeling is my boy...although i noe he din look down on me..or still love me wif a ugly looks...he said d most important is i m kind...i noe he love me..but i oso noe where got guy wont love a pretty gal? where got guy don like to 'kap' leng lui?! even me oso like to see leng lui la.. tats y i feel so depress tat y so long edi i still cant recover? i don wan sia sui him..i don wan sia sui my mom...i wan my boy's friend will jealous him coz having a pretty, nice n capable gf..but when only i can do tat?!i don noe..so many years edi..u noe..i really scare when meet wif my relatives!! they will always ask "way happen to u?!" n look at me as if i m alien... arrggh...

i wanna thanks my boy..really aprreciate u veru much...thanks for not 'xian qi' me...thanks for loving me for wat i am (although i don noe how long u will love me)...thanks for looking at me..thanks for hug me...thanks for kiss me..although i m ugly...



later 8pm got kuliah..i think i will absent again~ T_T

wah..few days din write blog edi..actually..inda lazy to write ler..haha.. erm..wat to say leh? this few days still like tat lo..wake up around 11am if no class at d morning..den juz on9 n on9 .. breakfast n lunch eat together..sometimes din eat...den go class..dinner...on9..sleep...

oh~recently got hardworking a bit liao ler..coz wanna final exam liao ma..erm..hope i ll continue like tis ler..kekeke~
i get my ansos results..is B+..erm.. quite satisfy coz i oso din read much..juz read a lil only..keke.. n tembak d answer only..kakakaka~


last saturday i went to a singing contest organise by USM chinese society..RM 3 per entry..
wah..is not like a singing contest..can consider a mini concert liao.. uni's standard is really diff.. not like secondary school juz sing in dewan baru..d contest is in a hall..they put many afford in decorating..d light n especially s stage..all of us get a booklet..d design really creative ler..d ticket design oso very useful..u wont get wat i mean if u din see it..kekeke~
all d candidate's voice really very nice..some sang like singer ler..n d MC is super funny n creative!! we laugh a lot! n all of us r very high~ haha~ (saw many cute guys o) *,*
act i really love to organise these activities ler..juz like last time... so i edi decide to help in d next activiti organise by chinese society de..although i hav to delay 3 days back to KL end of Oct..n lost a chance to dating wif boy..but i don care..haha! coz i think it is worth for it..tat is d experience tat wont take-2 in our life..am i changed edi? hehe..coz i choose to stay here n hav fun wif frens but not hav fun wif my boy.. hohoho!!! but now i m having a prob ler..tat is i need a digi cam in my task.. n my digi cam is wif my sis there in USMKK.. -_- n she din go back tis weekend..but i need it next next week la.. T_T

erm..act yesterday my mood got a lil bit not so song..coz i saw my leng zai wif another gal! T_T
tis is d second time i saw them liao la...they revision together at my hostel de canteen..saw them when i go refill water..but..he still very leng zai..hehe!! i guess tat gal is live same desa wif me.. coz d guy de hostel quite far from my hostel..n there is many canteen in USM..y choose here wo.. n i decide to 'dump' tis leng zai liao since he is not 'loyal' to me...kekeke!!!!!! herm..wanna search for another target..hohoho!

okla..stop here..wanna pack my things n prepare to go back!!! kekeke..