如何是好


三年了。。。
给过多少次机会了。。。
原谅你多少次了。。。
为你流了多少的泪了。。。
心也被你割了无数次了。。。
这一切你能算得到吗?
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为什么，
每次当我觉得最幸福快乐，
觉得我们很好时，
觉得我能够信任你时，
充满希望时，
你却都会令我伤心失望呢!
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你的那句 :" 上天真的派你来收拾我。"
令我很刺耳，很讽刺。。。
我该高兴吗?
该高兴我能刺穿你说的每一个谎言吗?
还是上天不放弃要我清醒点，要我离开你?!
有时候，
我还真的宁愿我很笨很笨。。。
永远不知道你骗我。。。
至少，
我会很开心。。。
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她说。。。
你说过会疼她。。。
是什么意思啊?!
那，
我呢?
我算什么?!
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我满怀希望的从槟城去找你。。。
不顾一切的冒险去找你。。。
对我们的三周年纪念充满了期待。。。
但。。。
你让我很失望。。。
我不只收到你带给我的"惊喜"
还得受长辈的指责。。。
你能明白我的感受吗?!
不，
你一点都不明白。。。
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我们在一起三年了。。。
其实你对我真的很好。。。
我知道你是真心爱我的。。。
和你在一起很开心很舒服。。。
我们在一起经历了很多很多。。。
和你一起的回忆历历在目。。。
想念你的一切一切。。。
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谢谢你一直以来那么的自持我。。。
谢谢你带我去了那么多的地方吃喝玩乐。。。
谢谢你不嫌弃我的外表。。。
谢谢你的爱。。。
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你说得对，
没有人是十全十美的。。。
江山易改，本性难移。
你，
始终还是，
败在你的本性。。。
死性不改。。。
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这三年，
习惯依赖了你。。。
暂时的分开，
让我试下没有你在身边的日子会是怎样。。。
我心里很挣扎。。。很矛盾。。。
因为，
如果我过得了没有你的日子，
我们就真的分手了。。。
如果过不了，
就等于给你多一次机会伤害我。。。
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我真的很舍不得你。。。
真的很想念你。。。
真的很爱很爱你。。。
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有谁，
可以告诉我，
我该如何是好。。。

AT LAST...


At last i can access to tis blog..n at d same time..can sign in to msn oso! kinda happy.. coz i long long time din play msn edi lo..

time passes so fast..now we hav to write our date wif 07..no more 06..n 06 wont come back again.. hahaha! thinking of d past..cant bliv tat i had graduate for a year..n of course oso finished my 1st sem at USM..kinda..unbliv..hahaha!

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fly back to d 1st day of 2nd sem...

tat day morning after breakfast me n cynthia rush here n there between our school office,mass comm school, our P.A room n pusat bahasa..juz to settle our course registration..walk like hell..sweat like hell..stupid punya la..n some of d course crash time la.. make us cant take d course in tis sem as we planned..tats y tis sem i only get 13 units! i really very worry la..but i edi try my best to add more course..but cant..ai..hav to suffer a lot in nex 4 sem...

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2006 X'mas!

on 22 dec i went spore wif my dear n my buddies...although quite disappointed tat shit shit cant join us..but i noe i still hav to appreciate d chance..so..i muz be happy.. although we got some prob on d way to spore..hehehe! *secret* but i still enjoy it de..i don mind they blame me..coz i noe they juz kidding la..hahaha! mun n her boy so lovely..kinda envy la..although they couple for almost 4 years edi but still so sweet..hahaha! 1st nite we went to seoul garden to hav steamboat..at bugis..but actually becoz i m too tired..not really eat many..but food there quite nice ler..d nex day mun n vincent bring us to orchrad road..shopping shopping n shopping...orchrad road really got so many shopping centre..n all very branded wan ..cant afford la..hahaha! but sporian really very hang fuk la..for them..those branded clothes is consider cheap la..not exp at all..no wonder my godbro n god aunt always buy branded things for their 2 lil kids..(coz they work there)...we had steamboat again at 2nd nite..hehe! seriously..i really enjoyed tat nite..we had a lots of fun n jokes..n really very very full..

3rd day..Xmas eve..vincent bring us to harbour front..n den me n my dear went to sentosa ourselves.. i really had a happy journey tat day in sentosa...we went underwater world, images of spore,musical of fountain, n another 2 places forget d name edi...hehehe!
at nite..me n dear had our dinner at vivo city..den we rush back to orchard road coz vincent n carmen waiting for us...Orchard road really very veery crowded! n as normal..ppl spray here n there...n i almost asma bcoz those spray make me cant breath well..n some idiot spray into my eyes..tats d last nite in spore.. spore really a nice n clean country..but need to walk a lot... i more enjoy driving at msia..(but i hate jam!)

tanz my buddies n dear giv me a memorable xmas!

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new year eve.....
my USM fren came to my house tis few days...i hav to bring her 'travel' around kl n pj.. hahaha!

we went ikano there to count down..
i start 2007 wif scolding those stupid, brainless indians.. long story...
n on 1st of jan 2007..i argue wif my boy.. tears fell down tat night..
n someone more idiot,basterd, sucker,fucker hurt me..i wont forgiv tis guy forever n ever.. (although i had forgiv once..)


2007...izit a new happy yeasr for me or a sad year? i dunno..but i m sure tat i start it wif sadness n tears..i juz wish 2007 wont be a bad year for me..i don wish everything will be perfect..good r edi enuf...

dear..i really..luv u deeply...hope we will understand each other more well..n appresiate every moments we hav b4 u leave me...muaks..


recently really miz my frens very much...many...like those form 6 buddies, triplets, kadet gang, my leng lui gang, n sheau huei...recently i always staring at all photos tat i hav in my laptop..thinking all d happy n sad moments i had wif all of my frens...imagine hows their life now..realise tat frens come in n out of our life n heart...some frens maybe hate each other b4 but now edi bcome best fren..some is d 'ex best fren' but now d feeling like stranger...they still live happily without me...n me too..without them..i don noe how to express my feeling toward tis...if can i really hope can go back those moments that we shared..n i will really appreciate every frenship..but tis is impossible rite?!

now d only close fren n really understand me very very well..is him..my dear...he is part of my life edi..since we had together so many years..i really scare d day he leave me will arrive..
frens r important..but i realise a good lover r more important..coz they r d one who really can do everything for u...no matter how many best fren u hav..they never as close as ur lover or understand u more well than ur lover...i got tis feeling actually not only from myself..is oso from my 2 buddies..steph n carmen.. i bliv now hon wei understand steph much more better than anyone else...n carmen..hc r d one tat she will tell him everything..in front of hc..she will shows her real feeling..is totally diff wat she is in our heart..

seriously..i m glad to see steph n sean r so lovely..best wishes for them...n..
BEST WISHES TO EVERYONE...



p/s: all d above is juz my opinion...don get any hard feeling k..